His tiny heart was sad 

Yahya got up this morning complaining of a stomach ache. 

Last night he woke up in the middle of the night and walked to my room. He carried his water bottle in one hand, his torch in the other and a pillow under his arm. He gently knocked on the door, a knock that perhaps only a sleeping Mother can hear. I opened the door and bend down to look him in the eye. He said in a bare whisper Can I sleep with you tonight? Sure Yahya, I said. 
He climbed in the bed with me and put his small arms around my neck and slept. My sleep now accompanied with a few kicks (read “many”) as he constantly rolled and insisted on putting his head on my stomach. Good thing is that as a mother of three kids I have learned to sleep even when I am kind of awake and aware of the constant commotion in the bed. 

This coming to my room had been his nightly ritual for over a week now. For sometime now he had been trying to sleep with his older siblings. His only complain “Mama they squash me in the night”. Its ok if Yahya squashes mama in night I would ask him, to which he gave me his sweetest smile. I love his smile. 

Mornings are perhaps the most rushed time of the day as the clock seems to move so much faster. It was time to leave the bed and get ready for school. Yahya was still lying next to me, awake but his eyes tightly shut. As we hugged and lay in bed he seemed in no mood to go to school. My tummy is hurting he said. When something bothered him his tummy hurt or if something very serious bothered him then his head hurt. I knew this. 
With this move back home, leaving friends and school we have had many “my head hurts” and “my tummy hurts”. 

I was prepared for this. Our stuff from Singapore had arrived on the weekend. Though the kids were super excited to have their beds and toys back they were slowly coming to terms that this was not a vacation and that they had left friends back in Singapore. 

The 2 days of unpacking as I managed 5 odd men opening my boxes and asking me what to do with the uncountable stuff that just kept pouring out. As I racked my brain trying to figure out where to put the things and cursed myself for actually having so much stuff, Yahya had came to me a number of times. His question was the same, Could he do playdates with his friends in Singapore now that his toys were here. Not wanting to reason as I focused on the task of putting things away I had told him yes. With each yes he gave me this look – a look which said I don’t believe you. 

I knew that his tiny heart was sad. 
We finally ate breakfast and got ready for school. At the school he got down from the car and walked in front of me. Today he didn’t want to hold my hand. This was our second week in school. The whole last week I had stood and watched him play. 

As I dropped him off to his class I asked him can mama go home now? He looked at me and said why don’t you stay till the bell rings. There I stood watching him run around with his friends. I felt his pain and as a Mother I want to protect him. As a Mother I also knew that he will have to walk this lane alone as there was not much I could do for him. 

For myself I am sad, I miss my friends.



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